Music and Lyrics

THE HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS

Born from optimistic attitudes, star-studded backgrounds in the music industry, and penchants for life’s finer things (including cold beer and broads), the NYC-based collective of seasoned musicians known as Cold Beer & Broads was built upon the mutual friendship among Larry Studnicky (songwriter/lead & backup vocals), Charles Czarnecki (producer/songwriter/keyboards, percussion/lead & backup vocals), and John Macom (rhythm & electric guitars/lead & backup vocals). 

I WANT THAT GIRL

(click below for lyrics)

I WANT THAT GIRL
Lyrics & Melody © Lawrence J. Studnicky III 2015

VERSE 1
I’ve been looking for a girl
Been searching everywhere
I don’t care about her face
Or the color of her hair
Cause I’ve had the pretty ones
And they’re never any fun
Seems no matter how I wish
They just lay there like a fish

CHORUS
That’s how I know that I want that girl
Cause she’s not a skinny brat girl
I’ve been around the whole world
But I just began to see
I know that she’ll be my girl
And I gotta tell you why girl
She kisses like she’s high girl
And that’s good enough for me
Yeah that’s good enough for me.

VERSE 2
She has teeth that aren’t straight
Or particularly white
When we’re on a dinner date
She eats everything in sight
Telling lies to all her friends
Tells ’em I’m a Superman
In the darkness of the night
She talks dirty ’til it’s light

CHORUS
Yeah I know that I want that girl
Cause she’s not a spoiled brat girl
I’ve been around the whole world
But I just began to see
I know she’ll be my next girl
And it’s all about the sex girl
Cause she kisses like she’s high girl
And that’s good enough for me
Yeah that’s good enough for me.

VERSE 3
I’m so tired of the games
A pretty lady plays
Pretending she’s a saint
When you know full well she ain’t
Gotta simplify my life
Find myself a normal wife
Everything will be alright
When we’re higher than a kite

CHORUS
Yes I know that she’ll by my girl
Cause she kisses like she’s high girl
I been around the whole world
But I just began to see
I know she’ll be my one girl
And it’s only for the fun girl
Cause she kisses like she’s high girl
And that’s good enough for me
Yeah that’s good enough for me.

VIRGINIA

(click below for lyrics)

VIRGINIA
Lyrics & Melody © Lawrence J. Studnicky III and John Macom 2014

VERSE 1
When I walked out your door
I thought I’d go just a little way
Never thought those first five steps
Would become five hundred days
Now I’m looking over mountains
But they’re not the hills we knew
When we were young and crazy
I’m still crazy over you

CHORUS
Virginia
I thought I saw you yesterday
Vir-gin-i-ah
Hell I think about you every day
I try and try but somehow
I can’t seem to find a way
To get back home to
Vir – gin – eye – ay
I gotta get back home to
Vir – gin – eye – ay

VERSE 2
Another girl claims she’s my wife
I barely know her name
Must have met her while binging
Just a bit too drunk on fame
She says she’ll be the answer
To my hopes and fears and dreams
But when I wake up beside her
All I want to do is scream

CHORUS
I scream Virginia
I thought I’d call you yesterday
Virginia
Hell I think of calling everyday
I try so hard but somehow
I can’t seem to find a way
To get back home to
Vir – gin – eye – ay

BRIDGE
With cannon balls in swimming pools
Do I join the list of fools
Who want to love and be with you, Virginia?
Or am I hanging on too long
Maybe I should just move along
Somehow I can never run away

VERSE 3
Ah you could have stopped me with a look
Perhaps the faintest smile
But you let me think your heart
Would forget me in awhile
Did pretending not to love me
Work out just as you planned
Or do you find when you’re dreaming
I’m the one who holds your hand?

CHORUS
Hold on Virginia
I almost got home yesterday
Vir-gin-i-ah
Hell I may need one more day
I try so hard but somehow
I never find a way
To get back home to
Vir – gin – eye –ay
I gotta get back home to
That girl today.
I gotta get back home to that girl.

REAR VIEW MIRROR

(click below for lyrics)

REAR VIEW MIRROR
Lyrics& Melody © Lawrence J. Studnicky III 2015

VERSE 1
My mother’s now a junky
My girl’s a slacker flunky
And some prick just charged me ten bucks for a beer.
There’s no space left for parking,
My roommate’s dog keeps barking,
And the subway’s not been clean in fifty years.
Times Square was once a paradise
With hookers, blow and head lice.
Now Disneyland’s intruding everywhere.
Seems I’ve lost my passion
For what passes here as fashion,
That’s why I’m getting out of here.

CHORUS
So I’m heading out of New York
Heading out tonight
Heading out of New York
With the headlights burning bright
I won’t be back tomorrow
Nor even in a year
But I’ll remember New York in my rear view mirror here.
Yes I’ll remember New York in my rear view mirror here.

VERSE 2
I crossed a bridge to Jersey.
Man I was in a hurry
But conditions there were even more a mess.
The beer was still expensive, the corruption more extensive
And as for pretty women, well I’d say there were less.
But I didn’t pull a u-turn
Despite the fact my ears burned
From ladies who bemoaned my leaving town.
They don’t understand that I cannot stay in this land
Where deejays don’t play Sunday Morning Coming Down.

BRIDGE
I can’t afford the rent, my money’s all been spent
On booze and broads with far too many shoes.
This playground of my youth, which was once 80-proof
Is now overrun with coffee drinking fools.
That’s why I’m leaving by the light of the moon.

CHORUS
I’m heading out of New York
Heading out tonight
Heading out of New York
With the headlights burning bright
I won’t be back tomorrow
Nor even in a year
But I’ll remember New York in my rear view mirror here.
Yes I’ll remember New York, in my rear view mirror here.

VERSE 3
I got as far as Philly
Then started feeling silly
Thinking grass could grow much greener far away.
I missed the super models
Who think meals come in a bottle
That costs more than I make in a hundred days
So I retraced my steps to where they still use words like schlepp
Where politeness rarely sees the light of day
Back to where my life bore a sharp edge just like a knife
I hit the gas until I reached the Empire State.

CHORUS
So I’m heading back to New York
Heading back tonight
Heading back to New York
With my head screwed on too tight
When I get back tomorrow
I’ll steal myself a beer
And drink a toast to New York in my rear view mirror here.
Yes I’ll drink a toast to New York in my rear view mirror here.

SUMMER GIRL

(click below for lyrics)

SUMMER GIRL
Lyrics & Melody © Lawrence J. Studnicky III 2015

 

VERSE 1
I met a summer girl with hair full of ocean curls,
But I knew she wouldn’t last me too long.
She said if I took a chance, that maybe we’d grab a dance,
And it might even last a whole song.
But she went to the ladies room, and she didn’t come back soon,
So I looked for her all over the bar.
I ran outside to fetch her,
But I never did catch her,
’cause she’d taken the keys to my car.

 

CHORUS
Now it’s the end of the summer, and it’s sure been a bummer.
Why does it seem to fade away far too soon.
I’ve got those end of the summer I got poorer and dumber blues.
Yes I’ve got those end of the summer I got poorer and dumber blues.

VERSE 2
I flew to paradise, they said there was never ice,
But the moment that I landed it snowed.
My room with a water view looked over a small cesspool,
So I thought I’d better pack up and go.
But that girl with the golden hair was up in the penthouse there,
So I booked more days at double the rate.
I took her out to dinner, and it looked like I’d win her,
’til she asked me how much would I pay.

CHORUS
Now it’s the end of the summer, and it’s sure been a bummer.
Ah why does it fade away far too soon.
I’ve got those end of the summer I got poorer and dumber blues.
Yes I’ve got those end of the summer I got poorer and dumber blues.

BRIDGE
She never really looked me in the eye.
She never even called me by name.
I guess I was just another really dumb guy,
Too thrilled to be a pawn in her game.

VERSE 3
She called me up next June, and said “Can I see you soon,
Will you fly me to Hawaii today?”
I ran for the airport gate, I figured she’s running late,
’til I saw her in the line with a date.
She was with some old Wall Street guy, and he looked me straight in the eye,
Said “Sonny, this gal’s out of your class.”
I yelled she’s got your number, you’re like me only dumber,
And in a week you’ll be begging for cash.

CHORUS
Now it’s the end of the summer, and it’s sure been a bummer.
Ah why does it fade away far too soon.
I’ve got those end of the summer I got poorer and dumber blues.
Yes I’ve got those end of the summer I got poorer and dumber blues.

FADE-OUT
Oh I met a summer girl,
Yes I met a summer girl,
Oh I met a summer girl, with hair full of ocean curls.

I NEVER LOVED HER

(click below for lyrics)

I NEVER LOVED HER
Lyrics & Melody © Lawrence J. Studnicky III 2014

VERSE 1
I guess I kissed her once or twice,
I admit her kiss was nice,
But I never loved her.
And, yes, I followed her around,
And where she walked I kissed the ground,
But I never loved her.

Girl, can’t you get it through your head,
I never had her in my gun sights.
Don’t you believe a word she said,
I never asked her to be my wife.

CHORUS 1
And I hear she showed you some old ring
Well that didn’t mean a thing
It . . . just . . . didn’t . . . fit me
Don’t you understand her game
She’s out to ruin my name
For I never loved her.

BRIDGE 1
Well I never loved her, though she treated me awfully kind.
I swear I never loved her, so why is she stuck on my mind?
If I’d ever loved her, could I be lying here next to you?
I’m telling the truth, since I was a youth, I’ve only loved you.

VERSE 2
She was a pretty little thing, a flirting tease of spring,
But I never loved her.
Although she always held my hand,
And introduced me as her man,
I just never loved her.

Girl, I swear on my mother’s grave,
She never pulled me by the heartstrings.
There was no promise that I gave,
That made her more than just a sweet fling.

CHORUS 2
Now please stop talking ’bout that ring
That stupid little thing
It just  . . . didn’t . . . fit me
She’s still playing her old game,
But I do still proclaim:
That I never loved her.

BRIDGE 2
I never called her back
You should accept the fact
That I love you.
And I’m so over her
I told her mother, that I love you.
You should believe in me,
For it’s plain to see
I really love you!
I’m losing my mind, searching for rhymes
That say I love you.

VERSE 3
She never conquered my domain,
Yet when she called I often came,
But I never loved her.
And, yes, I bought her fancy clothes
And lingerie that never shows,
But I never loved her.
Don’t you believe a word I’ve said?
I swear again the fling is over.
It’s time for us to go to bed,
And in the morning I will call her.

CHORUS 3
And I’ll go back and get that ring,
Which never meant a thing.
It just . . .  didn’t . . . fit . . . me.
But I’ll reclaim it all the same,
And insure it in your name,
For I never loved her.

FIRST AMENDMENT BLUES

(click below for lyrics)

FIRST AMENDMENT BLUES (THE F.U. SONG)
Lyrics & Melody © 2013 Lawrence J. Studnicky

VERSE 1
There’s a lot of folks they’ve been complaining
Claim they’re Christians while they’re raining
Rocks down on the heads of guys like me.
Well if they can’t stand a little cursing
The band and I can make it worse and
Maybe we’ll give this record away for free.

CHORUS
Fuck you. Fuck you.
You’ve got the First Amendment blues.
So don’t buy this record
And fuck you.

VERSE 2
Now it’s not polite to say retarded.
The kid’s just challenged and his homework’s hard
And maybe he just had A. D. H. D.
Well let’s face the facts he’s dumb or lazy
And Ritalin will make him crazy.
Maybe someday he’ll go on a shooting spree.

CHORUS
Fuck you. Fuck you.
You’ve got the First Amendment blues.
So don’t buy this record
And fuck you.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
You’ve got the First Amendment blues.
So don’t buy this record
And fuck you.

VERSE 3

Well the Christian Right keeps agitating
While the liberal left likes litigating.
Each one trying to turn the other ’round.
If the answer isn’t in the middle
We’ll have no choice except to fiddle
While they burn this whole damn country down.

CHORUS

Ahhhh . . . Ahhhh . . . Ahhhh . . . Ahhhh
Well fuck you. Fuck you.
You’ve got the First Amendment blues.
So don’t buy this record
And fuck you.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
You’ve got the First Amendment blues.
So don’t buy this record
And fuck you.
FUCK YOU.
FUCK YOU.

JENNIFER ANNISTON

(click below for lyrics)

JENNIFER ANNISTON
Lyrics & Melody © Lawrence J. Studnicky III 2015

VERSE 1 & CHORUS
Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Anniston
Why are you married? Why can’t you be single?
Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Anniston
Why won’t you mingle
Oh why won’t you mingle
WITH ME?
I’m just a guy who’ll love you for all time
YOU SEE
There’s millions of us always on your side

VERSE 2 & CHORUS
Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Anniston
Time hasn’t touched you
Well, not that much you
Keep getting older
But also much bolder
You’re showing your ass–ets
In all of their facets
OH PLEASE
Admit it now, the altar made you blue
YOUR KNEES
They shook so hard, well, you were overdue
OH WHY?
Did you have trouble dating normal guys?
DON’T LIE
You fear that we’re inclined to part your thighs.

BRIDGE
Once upon a time I saw you
You were still with you-know-who
He was hardly looking at you
Why does he prefer tattoos

VERSE 3 & CHORUS
Oh Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Anniston
I was here waiting
While you were out dating
Guys who when near you
Were stricken with fear who
Turned spineless like jelly
‘Cause you’re on the telly
WELL HECK
I’m in a band and we make videos
GO CHECK
Like you I’m cute and have a perfect nose

FADE OUT
On again off again Jennifer Anniston
Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Anniston
On again off again Jennifer Anniston
Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Anniston
On again off again Jennifer Anniston
Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Anniston
On again off again Jennifer Anniston
Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Anniston
On again off again Jennifer Anniston
Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Anniston
On again off again Jennifer Anniston

MARRY ME AGAIN

(click below for lyrics)

MARRY ME AGAIN
Lyrics & Melody © Lawrence J. Studnicky 2016

VERSE 1
Will you marry me, again?
Would you take this walk my friend
Knowing everything that you know now.
For if ignorance is bliss,
Then what the hell is this?
There are no secrets left in this town.
Have your little girl wishes for diamonds and pearls
Fallen short of the mark that you set?
Well I’m begging you babe, please don’t leave me,
For I’m not done loving you yet.

CHORUS
Marry me and see what we’re meant to be
Marry me once again just for fun
Marry me again and I’ll promise then
That our love will endure like the sun.

VERSE 2
Would you walk the aisle, again?
In the face of all your friends
Saying I’d been a player too long.
Well I never played around,
But I guess I gave you grounds
For ignoring the words of this song.
If the diamonds and pearls
Fall just short of the mark,
Well I swear that I’m doing my best.
And I’m begging you babe, please don’t leave me
I’ll need time to buy you the rest.

CHORUS
Marry me and see what we’re meant to be
Marry me once again just for fun
Marry me again and I’ll promise then
That our love will endure like the sun.

VERSE 3
When it all is said and done
You will always be the one
Who put flesh on the bones of my dreams.
Fairy tales may not come true
But at least in loving you
I found someone who made a fine queen.
When they lay me to rest I’ll have given my best
To my sweetheart in skinny blue jeans.
I’ll give thanks for the two times we married
And all the days since, in between.

CHORUS

Marry me and see what we’re meant to be
Marry me once again just for fun
Marry me again and I’ll promise then
That our love will endure like the sun.
Marry me and see what we’re meant to be
Marry me once again just for fun
Marry me again and I’ll promise then
That our love will endure like the sun.
Yes our love will endure like the sun.

GET ME HOME BY CHRISTMAS EVE

(click below for lyrics)

GET ME HOME BY CHRISTMAS EVE
Lyrics & Melody © Lawrence J. Studnicky III and John Macom 2012

VERSE 1
Well I came and went as I pleased
And I never got down on my knees
So now I’m praying to God tonight
Please get me on this flight
Please get me home by Christmas Eve
I never knew how much I missed my wife
Never had love ’til she gave me life
So now I’m praying on bended knees
Lord let me make it please
Please get me home by Christmas Eve
Take me over the ocean
Spirit me across the waves
I’ve misplaced my devotion
But get me home and I’ll be saved

VERSE 2
I’ve been gone far too long from my girls
Stuck in deserts halfway ’round the world
I’ve seen too much of swirling sand
Lord take me to that land
Where snow’s falling on Christmas Eve
Take me over the ocean
Spirit me across the waves
I’ve misplaced my devotion
But get me home and I’ll be saved

CHORUS
Please get me home by Christmas Eve
Will I make it there as they lead me to believe
Please don’t let me be alone
I can’t wait to see you home
Lord please get me home by Christmas Eve

VERSE 3
Daylight breaks but I’m just halfway home
Over London after leaving Rome
After all of these empty miles
I’ll see how my baby smiles
When I get home on Christmas Eve
Take me over the ocean
Get me home and I’ll be saved

CHORUS
Please get me home by Christmas Eve
There’s no other place that I would rather be
Please don’t let me be alone
I can’t wait to see you home
Lord please get me home by Christmas Eve
Want to spend my Christmas day in the USA
Lord please get me home by Christmas Eve
Get me home
Get me home

SATURN’S RINGS

(click below for lyrics)

SATURN’S RINGS
Lyrics & Melody © Lawrence J. Studnicky III 2017

VERSE 1
She was counting Saturn’s rings
When I asked her why the frown
She said sir I need a king
Who can help me get one down
I once had a ring of gold
From a boy about your age
But he’s gone now, so I’m told
And I fear that I’m to blame.
I said darling don’t you cry
There’ll be time enough for tears
And if this love passed you by
You’ll know others through the years.

CHORUS
I know you’re scared to love again
And you’re trying not to hurt
So please take my hand and then
Ever softly shall we flirt

VERSE 2
She said so I have been told
But I don’t believe it yet
Well perhaps I’ve come to know
Since the moment we just met
You’re still young while I am old
But it’s not about the years
It’s about the ones you hold
Who can soften all the tears.

CHORUS
You’ve been scared to love again
And you’re trying not to hurt
Darling take my hand and then
Ever softly shall we flirt

VERSE 4
I said darling hold me close
Tell me true love never dies
I’ll believe you more than most
I’ll forgive your little lies
For I once had a ring of gold
From a girl about your age
But she’s gone now, so I’m told
And I know that I’m to blame.

CLIFF NOTES OF LOVE

(click below for lyrics)

CLIFF NOTES OF LOVE
Lyrics and Melody © Lawrence J. Studnicky III 2013

VERSE 1

I don’t know what she wants me to say
I don’t know what to buy her today
I don’t know how to talk to her dad
And I don’t know why he says I’m all bad.
Why can’t I win her heart with my words?
Why do my pleas for love go unheard?
I’m no good at pretending that love’s never-ending
‘Cause I’m tired of how she keeps spending and spending
Oh somebody read me the Cliff Notes of Love
‘Cause I don’t have time for the heavier stuff
I need a tutor that’s not a computer
Get a gal without scruples who’s looking for pupils

CHORUS
PAGE ONE:  Go buy a nice car
PAGE TWO:  Stay out of the bars
PAGE THREE:  Get rid of your wing men, and if you do drugs don’t let anyone bring them
Oh won’t somebody
(echoed) Somebody
Please read me
(echoed) Please read me
The Cliff Notes of Love

VERSE 2
I don’t have time to take her to shows
The ballet’s too gay, and the opera just blows
I don’t have time for the wine-and-dine
Her idea of heaven should be Seven-Eleven.
Oh I can’t name any flower she likes
I can’t order wine, not the red or the white
When we’re hugging and kissing, I find myself wishing
I had a six pack and was happily fishing

CHORUS
PAGE FOUR: Look up at her eyes
PAGE FIVE:  Tell only white lies
PAGE SIX:  Stop texting her sister, and tell her best girlfriend you don’t really miss her
Somebody
(echoed) Somebody
Please read me
(echoed) Please read me
The Cliff Notes of Love

BRIDGE

Guys have been turning these pages
Down through the ages
But the lessons, no they never stick.
You’d think we’d learn from all our mistakes
But I guess we’re just too thick.

VERSE 3
Oh somebody read me
The Cliff Notes of Love
‘Cause I don’t have time for the heavier stuff
I need a tutor that’s not a computer
Get a gal without scruples who’s looking for pupils
Love hasn’t been an ally of mine
I’m late for the date, then forget all my lines
Maybe female instruction can steer my seduction
Away from the fate of complete self-destruction

CHORUS
PAGE SEVEN:  Just tell her you’re rich
PAGE EIGHT:  Don’t call her a bitch
PAGE NINE:  Don’t stare at her titties, and tell her that all her fat girlfriends are pretty
Oh won’t somebody
(echoed) Somebody)
Please read me
(echoed) Please read me
THE CLIFF NOTES OF LOVE.
THE CLIFF NOTES OF LOVE.
THE CLIFF NOTES OF LOVE.

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